Do it myself?

Do it yourself-ing can be a great way to cut costs, however there are somethings that without professional training one should just not attempt.

Bridal fashion: You might be able to sew sundresses and purses and make the best Halloween costumes on the block but without the specialized training necessary to work with bridal fabric (satin, silk, velvet, taffeta, chiffon) it is just not a good idea to try and make your own dress. If a one of a kind dress is your aim a better idea is to meet with a seamstress or tailor that does have that training and design your dream dress. However if cost is your concern consider that bridal fabric is EXPENSIVE and if you mess up and have to start over you just wasted all that money. Your best bet is to search sample sales or buy a used dress, particularly if you wear a sample or common size (4, 8, 10, 14, or 16) or something smaller (a size 2 can buy a sample 4 and have it taken in). And in case you were wondering the same applies to bridesmaid fashion, just say no. J Crew has some great affordable dresses as does David's Bridal (among others). You could just give your girls a color (black) and a fabric (cotton) and a length (cocktail) and let them find something that fits their budget and who knows, might already be in their wardrobe.

Bouquets: Again I wouldn't. Flowers need to be dealt with as close to the day as possible and your florist has that kind of time. I doubt you do. Also many popular bridal flowers are fragile and trying to wire them into a bouquet can just damage them (particularly white flowers). However centerpieces that don't involve flowers (lanterns, urns, etc) may be DIY feasible, along with floral accents such as a ring bearer pillow, boutonnieres, flower girl baskets (either DIY the basket ahead of time or buy one and buy petals and refrigerate them until needed), or other small details. Martha Stewart Weddings has some really great ideas for DIY flowers.

Cake: Watch Amazing Wedding Cakes on WETV, Cake Boss on TLC, or Ace of Cakes on Food Network and you will realize that there are a million reasons not to try to bake your own cake. Cakes have to be structurally sound and stand up to the weight of layers so that it doesn't crack. However you can order a basic white fondant cake and then decorate it with flowers that you provide, a DIY topper (make sure it's food safe), or sugar paste/fondant petals that you can make (again I love Martha Stewart for ideas).

Stationary: From the save the dates to the menus at the reception this is one thing that you can do yourself. If you are fairly handy with a computer and have access to a high quality printer look up some templates on line, buy some high quality paper, and have at it. Alternatively, if you have calligraphy skills and a strong hand then print out a template and hand write away.

Favors: DIY away. Who says you can't bag your own Jordan almonds or make candy apples for a fall wedding? Go for it.

Bridesmaid hair/makeup: If you trust your bridesmaids then give them a color palate or some direction and let them do their own hair. Ask them to bring in their tools (one might have a very nice straightener or a heavy duty blow dryer) and bobby pins and let them have at it. Just be sure you (or your mom) inspects them before they walk down the aisle.

Nails: Again if you have a steady hand and you don't want anything too complicated then you should totally do your own nails. One thing though, don't try to do acrylics on your own, turn to a professional for anything more than a file and french manicure. (This also applies to bridesmaids, but I would have them do their nails the night before and look at them at the rehearsal dinner).

The list goes on.... mostly my advice is take your skills into consideration. If your hands shake then don't do your own make up and nails but if you happen to be a florist then why not make your own bouquets. One caveat, if you have an uncle who is a gourmet chef asking him to cater your wedding doesn't count as doing it yourself and it is beyond tacky to expect him to do it pro bono. If he offers to give you a discount or even do it for free (perhaps as a wedding gift) then outstanding but don't ask and don't expect that. He has bills to pay too. The same goes for your sister who is a hair stylist or your future mother in law who is a seamstress. If you plan on DIYing your wedding also take into consideration what you can accomplish alone because while it is your bridesmaids' job to be generally helpful that only applies to the day of the wedding. Don't assume that they will be at your beck and call the entire engagement and that by virtue of being in the wedding that they are obligated to tie programs. They aren't. If your personal relationship is such that you would ask them a favor outside of your wedding then that relationship (best friends, your sister) is the reason they would help DIY not being a bridesmaid. Just don't take advantage of people and think hard about what you can and can't do.
~Adrianna

Good time music

Every good party needs music! Be it a reception or a formal dinner party if people stop talking for a moment the room shouldn't go SILENT. However their a different rules for parties with dancing or parties with mingling.

First parties with dancing: A good mix is a necessity. My rule of thumb is 3 fast songs 1 slow song. However if you would like a faster party then you can increase that ratio to up to 10 fast songs 1 slow song. I think that ratio only works for a group that loves dancing and is fairly young but if that is the crowd you are catering to, go for it. However don't just listen to the tempo, think about the beat. The reason "club music" like Usher and Justin Timberlake is so popular is because of the beat, it's danceable. You want music with a nice steady beat preferably in a 3 step, 4 step, or 2 step. Think of Latin music that lends itself to salsa (4 step), swing (3 step), or club music with a 2 step. Even slow songs should have a similar beat just a slower tempo. Be sure you listen to the lyrics, after all you really shouldn't have a break up song at your wedding reception. Some of my favorite party songs: "Say it Ain't So" by Weezer, "Someday" by Sugar Ray, "Earth Angel" by the Penguins, "Waking up in Vegas" by Katy Perry.

Second parties without dancing: They still need music! It should be easily talked over, fit the theme, and not distracting. I like instrumental Disney songs but that's because my friends and I are Disney nuts. I also enjoy instrumental show tunes like "Come What May" from Moulin Rouge and "All I Ask of You" from The Phantom of the Opera. Classical music can make a party feel more formal and techno beats can add to a contemporary vibe. Use the music to add to the theme (the soundtrack to Lord of the Rings for a fantasy feel, Disney music and the soundtrack to Pirates of the Caribbean for a Pirates and Princesses party) and your party will feel even more put together. On Youtube user CalikoKat posts great piano versions of show tunes and Disney songs among others.

Generally DJ's are a good idea for very large parties like weddings and dances but you don't need an expensive sound system or to hire a DJ to get music for your party. Make a mix CD or two (be sure to make it as long as you think your party will last and put it on repeat in case your party runs long) and put it in a boom box or make a playlist on your MP3 player and hook it up to speakers (sold at Target, Wal-mart, Best Buy, and a billion places online for as little as 20 dollars. For important events you can even back up you playlist on a friend's ipod and have her's standing by if there is a problem with yours.
~Adrianna

Special occasion make-up

Too many times I see women who think that because today is their birthday, New Year's, or their wedding that they need to completely alter their look. That is simply not true! If it is your day to day look to slap on some chapstick and go then why should you show up to your wedding looking like Elvira queen of the night? However if you live your life in edgy, contemporary make-up then why would you be comfortable in traditional bridal pinks? I think that your special day make-up should be a more refined or a more exciting version of your day to day look. For instance if you are an au naturale kind of girl then even out your skin tone play up whatever feature you like (subtly of course) be it eyes with some brown/black mascara and light brown eyeliner, or lips with rose lipstick and light gloss. However if you love a glam smokey look for day to day wear then do smokey eyes for your wedding or Easter brunch but maybe avoid glitter. Or for a cocktail or New Year's bash add false eyelashes or an unexpected color to fancy up your look. Day to day I even out my skin, put on chapstick, curl my eyelashes, add brown mascara, and light brown smudged liner. So for a party I add blush, lip gloss, brown, silver, or copper eyeshadow, and sometimes false eyelashes. Someone who wore even less day to day may just wear my day to day look for a party and someone who wears my party look day to day might add more edgy colors on their eyes or a more dramatic smokey look. Girls who love love love their lips may want to keep their eyes simple and rock a retro red lip. Girls with amazing skin or cheekbones can wear a sexy blush and light foundation for a dewy look. And girls like me who love their eyes should play up their peepers with false lashes, eyelash curlers, mascara, and coordinated shadow. Best features aren't limited to your face, women with beautiful elegant hands should get a manicure or perfect hair should show it off! I believe there is something beautiful about every woman's face (and body but that's a different posting) you just have to find it. Don't get caught up in the things you think are imperfections and focus on the features you know are beautiful. And don't you dare say you don't know, think about what people compliment you on, clearly if you are getting married you have a boy (or girl, whatever) ask him what he loves. Or ask your best friend, what is she for if not for these exact situations?
~Adrianna

Every good party needs a theme

You may think that party themes are for children but that simply isn't true. Every good party has a theme whether is it centered around the occasion (Christmas, Mother's Day, Easter) or a color (White wedding, pastels) or something more exciting (Marie Antoinette, Mad Men, Modern Moroccan). Themes anchor a party and give your party direction. Having that direction makes planning easier as you can use your theme to customize every facet of your party from the venue, to the invitations, the menu, and more. I really really discourage picking separate color palates and themes as they can conflict. For instance, a metallic color theme is difficult to work into a Easter party but could be ideal for a New Year's party, black and red works for a dramatic formal wedding but might clash with a casual outdoor ceremony. Some things to take into consideration when picking a theme: will it work with the time of year (a winter wonderland wedding in May), will your guests enjoy themselves (redneck theme could be offensive), and will it work with the party (a Pirates and Princesses party works great for kids birthdays and Halloween but doesn't lend itself to a wedding). If you are having difficulty picking a theme then think about your favorite things and colors, things that are easy to work with and envision. Do some internetting and find what looks appealing and repeatable. My favorite blog hostesswiththemostess.com because it has specific themes with table-scapes, recipes, cocktails, and a great blog. I will be posting on all of the above parties in the future (I accidentally listed my favorite party themes as examples) but until then use your imagination, you can turn almost anything into a great party theme.
~Adrianna

Fake flowers

Just say no? I have high hopes that this whole blog is a given but in case it's not just say no to fake flowers of any kind. No silk bouquets for a wedding, no fabric flower petals, no plastic plants at a dinner party! If you are allergic to flowers don't use flowers, not every party requires flowers. You can substitute petals on the table for small crystals or pebbles, flower arrangements with groupings of candles, and corsages with vintage brooches. Whether the concern is allergies, cost, or wanting your wedding details to withstand the test of time fake flowers are NEVER the answer (and while I'm at it don't even get me started on blue roses). In regards to the question of allergies I feel like fake flowers beyond being incredibly tacky and unsightly, seem ridiculous when there are several pharmaceutical aids to manage allergies and beyond that one can avoid particularly offensive flowers like lilies. I regards to cost artificial flowers rarely cost less then the real thing. Trust me. And I have heard many times that women don't want their bouquets to die but to keep them forever. First of all bouquets can be easily dried and kept but there are also services that can preserve not only your flowers but the color as well (which can fade with drying). So once again and I hope dearly for the last time NO fake flowers of any kind for any reason ever!
~Adrianna

Escort Cards and Place Cards: What is the difference and are they really necessary?

So many times I have heard questions about escort cards and place cards generally followed by the question, "Is that really important?" In a word yes. First and foremost, an escort card says what table a guest is to sit at. A place card says what seat at the table your guest will sit at, i.e. where their place is. Any party with people sitting at table needs place cards, simple as that. They can be as simple as an index card with the guest's name neatly written on it or as extravagant as as a large crystal paperweight engraved with the guest's name. Why are place cards so important? They make any party no matter how casual seem put together and thought out, which (in my opinion) is always a good thing. My personal favorite way to casually and elegantly incorporate place cards into my table-scape is to put a very small box of chocolates or mints on the plate tagged with each guest's name. It's elegant and your guests get chocolates out of the deal. An escort card on the other hand is only necessary if your party has guests sitting at multiple tables. At that point I feel it it not only proper to designate tables but a courtesy to your guests who especially in large venues may feel a bit intimidated. Escort cards can be the traditional envelope with the guest's name on the outside and the table number on the inside, tented cards, or framed lists with table numbers at the top and listed underneath the guests seated at that table. Really both escort cards and place cards can be as creative as you like as long as the name and the table number are clearly visible. Also consider when a party needs escort cards tables need numbers clearly visible. I enjoy seeing a calligraphy number displayed in a tall stand. Alternatives can be last names, street names, even colors. Again table designations can be as creative as you like as long as they are clear, easy to read, and displayed prominently on the table.
To sum up, yes you need place cards. If your party has more than one table then you need escort cards and table number. Make them clear, easy to read, and as creative as you like.
~Adrianna

Welcome

Every woman needs help sometimes.
That is my mantra in life but particularly when planning events. Do you think Martha Stewart does everything on her own? She certainly does not. That isn't to say she can't but that she has a loyal and devoted staff and a wealth of knowledge to make her life easier. Although I can't always be there to lend my hands I can always lend my knowledge. I can be your help.

Every woman can plan a beautiful party.
This is one of my sincerest beliefs. With proper planning and care a party can be made beautiful, fun, and tasteful without costing a great deal. All it takes is an organized mind and some time.

Every woman can interact socially while adhering to proper etiquette.
With some simple reading every woman can understand and put to use principles of polite society. Etiquette is the oil that helps every situation move a little more smoothly. A thank you note well executed doesn't take more than ten minutes but can brighten someone's whole day. Place cards take all the guess work out of sitting at a dinner party and can facilitate a lively atmosphere. Just reading up on etiquette can make social situations less daunting and more likely to be fun.

I strive to make every woman comfortable with party planning, understand the importance of etiquette and how to incorporate it into her life, and to offer ideas on the spectrum of party planning. I hope that through this blog and my party planning I can introduce a modern generation of women to old school hospitality.
~Adrianna E Carpenter